15 July 2009
The Secret of Monkey Island SE: Sword Fighting Insults
19 years ago this game was a hit… it still is today. Together with DOTT one of the best games ever. Here are the insults (and answers) for the sword-fighting:
Fighting the Pirates
I: This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!
A: And I’ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?
I: Soon you’ll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!
A: First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.
I: My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!
A: So you got that job as janitor, after all.
I: People fall at my feet when they see me coming.
A: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
I: I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.
A: He must have taught you everything you know.
I: You make me want to puke.
A: You make me think somebody already did.
I: Nobody’s ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.
A: You run THAT fast?
I: You fight like a dairy farmer.
A: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
I: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
A: I hope now you’ve learned to stop picking your nose.
I: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?
A: Why, did you want to borrow one?
I: I’ve heard you were a contemptible sneak.
A: Too bad no one’s ever heard of YOU at all.
I: You’re no match for my brains, you poor fool.
A: I’d be in real trouble if you ever used them.
I: You have the manners of a beggar.
A: I wanted to make sure you’d feel comfortable with me.
I: I’m not going to take your insolence sitting down!
A: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?
I: There are no words for how disgusting you are.
A: Yes there are. You just never learned them.
I: I’ve spoken with apes more polite then you.
A: I’m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
Fighting the Sword Master
I: I’ve got a long, sharp lesson for you you to learn today.
A: And I’ve got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?
I: My tongue is sharper then any sword.
A: First you better stop waving it like a feather-duster.
I: My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island!
A: So you got that job as janitor, after all.
I: My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me!
A: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
I: Only once have I met such a coward!
A: He must have taught you everything you know.
I: If your brother’s like you, better to marry a pig.
A: You make me think somebody already did.
I: No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do.
A: You run THAT fast?
I: I will milk every drop of blood from your body!
A: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
I: My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood.
A: I hope now you’ve learned to stop picking your nose.
I: I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.
A: Why, did you want to borrow one?
I: My sword is famous all over the Caribbean!
A: Too bad no one’s ever heard of YOU at all.
I: I’ve got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!
A: I’d be in real trouble if you ever used them.
I: Every word you say to me is stupid.
A: I wanted to make sure you’d feel comfortable with me.
I: You are a pain in the backside, sir!
A: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?
I: There are no clever moves that can help you now.
A: Yes there are. You just never learned them.
I: Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.
A: I’m glad to hear you attended your family reunion.
I: I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors.
A: Even BEFORE they smell your breath?
